Matthew Wegner

Today was the first day on the unicycle. You could tell everyone was eager to stop milling around–as relaxing as that is–and get in some miles. But first, we had to get ourselves out of Hanoi.

Early to Rise

We woke at 3:15am. There are only two flights to Hue, split between morning and evening. The morning flight departs at six, which meant an awfully early morning for everyone on the tour. It wasn’t too bad, thanks to the remainder of the jet lag. I didn’t have any trouble falling asleep early.

Sight-Seeing

After a tasty breakfast, tour orientation, and unicycle assembly, we were off! The riding was very light, and spread out, with the goal of the day to visit the forbidden city and some tombs. While these tours were great, it was also a little bit too serene on a day where we all woke up hours before dawn. It was much nicer to be on the road mingling with traffic. At least that keeps you awake!

Unicycling in Vietnam

So riding around in Vietnam is completely amazing. We’re still in reasonably touristy areas, thanks to the tombs and such, but our route did take us away from that. It was awesome to be in the flow of traffic, pedaling through the city, and watching the reaction of the locals.

I was regularly struck with thoughts on how awesome/bizarre/amazing/exhilarating/mad the whole thing was. It’s a combination of everything: The sights, the people, how they live, the fact that I’m even here, and of course the fact that I’m seeing it all at 13mph on a unicycle.

Existence by Attention

One of the common themes in my thoughts, while riding, was that this stuff exists. It’s not just something I’m seeing while I’m riding by. Tomorrow, those same people will be working the same shops. The kids will again be walking home from school. That cow, or chicken, or dog, or whatever, will still be there, doing what it does.

I think in America we have this worldview that something only exists if people pay attention to it. If the news isn’t talking about an event or person, then it just doesn’t count. By implication, I–and you–need to be experiencing something for it to actually exist. It goes past that people not caring; it’s like they no longer allow a thing to be realized.

That seems different here. For instance, the newer houses in Hanoi have western kitchens. Nobody’s actually using them, though. They still go cook in the street, to talk to their neighbors and be a part of the world. It’s almost the exact opposite–you don’t exist unless you participate in or pay attention to the world, not the other way around.

Persistence and Reactive Reality

I think this points to one of the aspects of unicycling that’s so compelling. For instance, if you come here as a tourist on foot, you don’t make any indentation on the persistence of the city. Everyone’s routine is the same, whether you were there or not. Your day is no different from any other.

But when we unicycle through, we make a fairly wide ripple in reality–the people who live here–and cause quite a disturbance. It combines the two worldviews in this strange way. This stuff exists whether I’m here or not, but what I’m experiencing really is just for me, in a very severe way. When the next bus load of tourists comes after us, they’re back to the off-the-shelf, static experience of the city.

But when we roll through, we get our own experience, crafted specifically for us by our very bizarre circumstances. Kids run alongside just to watch, people come out of their shops, adults stop and stare, and curious motorists slow down for a longer look. The country itself is responding to us and actively contributing to us. It’s not the attention that makes it great; it’s that this experience is totally and uniquely ours and ours alone.

So I’m wearing braces. Again. I had them for a few years in middle school, and now I’m enjoying them all over again as a 27 year-old. Horrifying, right? It’s actually a much different experience this time around. For one thing, I’m much more aware of them at a conscious level. After all, I very definitely chose to undergo treatment, whereas when you’re younger it feels like the will the world, as implemented by your parents, is forcing you into it.

Solving Pain…With Pain!

Braces illustrate this concept perfectly. I’ve come to understand it as universal truth. To avoid something you must undergo it. What does this mean? Let’s use my braces as an example. It all started with tooth pain. Of course, nobody wants tooth pain, so I (eventually) went to the dentist. They discovered this wonderful mess:

Whoops! Looks like my upper wisdom teeth are causing some trouble.

It’s Going to Suck

Here’s the kicker. Want to stop your teeth from hurting all the damn time? Put on some braces. Then your teeth will hurt some of the damn time! Want to stop being out of breath after walking up some stairs? Force yourself to feel out of breath by jogging! Feeling stumped by a particular subject, like programming? Submit yourself to that stupid feeling by hitting the books! Terrified of speaking in public? Get to a Toastmasters club and, you guessed it, speak in front of people. And it goes on like this.

The Solution?

I’m not sure there is a magic workaround to this phenomenon. The best course of action is to accept it and approach it with discipline. Arm yourself with the end goal in mind and apply that vision as needed to get through the pain and discomfort, with the realization that the exact kind of pain and discomfort you’re feeling is what you’re freeing yourself from.

If you’re working out, visualize performing your physical goal effortlessly–a marathon, or a bike tour, or whatever–whenever your hit that psychological wall. Push through the confusion in your studies by imaging the clear understanding that awaits you. Dream about the appointment when your braces come off whenever a headache creeps in.

Stick With It

Eventually, the braces do come off. You realize you can run a mile without even feeling tired. The concepts and ideas that baffled you now seem intuitively obvious. All it takes is time, patience, and a little discipline.

And in the meantime, take some ibuprofen and get back to work!

So I’ve finally buckled and launched some sort of personal blog. In general I’d like to put out more one-to-many communications. We’ll also be launching a site soon for work that will contain a blog (mostly because you can’t tell who we are at all by looking at the current Flashbang Studios domain). I’ll be ranting a bit about business stuff there, but I thought it would be cool to talk about more general-purpose, personal, and otherwise interesting bits of information that wouldn’t be as relevant for work.

What About?

What am I going to talk about here? We’ll see how it goes–I may change things up as I see what strikes me as noteworthy–but very likely:

• Unicycle training
• Technology trends
• Memes, thoughts, what I think about when I’m alone

Unicycle Stuff

I enjoy riding unicycles. Mostly I ride mountain, but I’m signed up for a 300-mile unicycle tour of Vietnam that’s happening in March. I really need to train up for that, so you’re going to see a lot of posts about my progress. There’s nothing like a little public accountability to keep motivation up!

Technology Trends

Even though I primarily do game development, I dabble in more general technology areas: web development, automation, and marketing. If I had ten times the free time I would actually do lots of things in non-game-related areas. Instead, I just think about them, so it’ll be fun to put those thoughts down in blog form to give them at least some concrete form.

Other Thoughts

And, of course, what good is a journaly blog without rants about the latest movies, games, political events, relationship insights, and Internet trends? I’m sure I’ll rant about random topics throughout the duration of the blog. I’m not sure everyone will want to know what I had for breakfast, but there’s only one way to find out!

Enjoy!

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